Thursday, September 27, 2012

Pornography vs an open discussion about sex

I am deep into a revision of a drama about doctors, nurses, and hospitals. So I was doing what any respectable writer would do in such a situation, that is, procrastinate.

My diversion/procrastination began at the blog of Andrew Karre, an editor I admire at Carolrhoda Books.http://carolrhoda.blogspot.com/2012/09/on-subject-of-material-containing.html. The point of Karre's blog is that, as a writer for teens, one has grapple with the impact of pornography.

From Karre's blog I clicked on a TED talk by a woman named Cindy Gallop. http://blog.ted.com/2009/12/02/cindy_gallop_ma/

It may be that I'm just slow finding out about such conversations. After all, Gallop's TED talk took place in 2009. Still it bears a replay.

Gallop's talk is about pornography. She was not rallying against it, as you might expect from a woman in her fifties might who is old enough to have children to worry about. Instead, she talked about the need for "counterpoint." I applauded her honesty and humor.

What she says better than I could is that the "counterpoint" or open discussion about the sexuality of real people, especially about women, is sorely needed. What do women like and what don't they like sexually? Today, does anyone feel comfortable discussing, even among friends, about how most women actually achieve an orgasm? I mean, how long have women been on this planet?

Information like that is almost nonexistent in schools, families, on TV and in mainstream movies, magazines, etc. According to Gallop  99% of the lucrative world of pornography portrays sex that springs from male fantasy for a male audience. Any truth about what works for women in terms of sexual pleasure, or that pleasure for women should be a consideration at all, is for the most part absent. Apparently, one can learn nothing honest about women from most pornography. That means any accurate information about female sexuality is in comparison to the ocean of pornography in cyberspace, is rare as hen's teeth.

According to Gallop, girls who might see porn in the electronic media, even if they stumble upon it, get a stilted view. It's easy to see how some may be coerced by what a boyfriend watches, and participate, even if a particular act might feel degrading to her. How does she find her voice in this?

I'll end here, glad that there are those like Cindy Gallop sharing her wisdom and editors like Andrew Karre passing it along.






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